Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Just lunch (and a bookstore tug-of-war)

Today I had the privilege and pleasure of eating lunch with "Just Craig" Sorensen. (That is, I only had lunch with Craig Sorensen. Lunch only with just Craig. That is, I had lunch with Craig Sorensen only. Glad we got that settled.)
Craig was waiting for me in the parking lot. I had no trouble finding him—it seemed a sign had been, um, erected to indicate the designated assembly point for male smutters. (Note to self: I must speak to them about this unfortunate habit of placing gratuitous apostrophes in simple plurals.)

Things did not go quite as smoothly in the bookstore, however. As you can see, a bit of a gentlemanly scuffle occurred between me and Craig (only) over possession of the lone copy of Kristina Lloyd's Split that we found in stock. When a sales clerk attempted to resolve the situation, Solomon-style, by suggesting we split Split, she met with four erect eyebrows. Obviously, the poor, ignorant fool didn't realize this was Kristina Lloyd month!

Craig and I were pretty sure that our lunch had occurred in Pennsylvania. Imagine our surprise when we looked around a short time later and discovered that we had somehow wandered into Sommer Marsden's own Maryland! Could it be that our strictly-literary conversation about various female erotica authors had distracted us from paying attention to where we were headed?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Did Kipling write this?

Soon Man-Man felt so good that he didn’t know what to do. So he grunted like the Assiduous Elephant (which is a kind of Elephant that grunts) and growled like the Corrugated Sea-Camel (which is a kind of Sea-Camel that isn’t corrugated, but which had succumbed to a taxonomical error). And, as if by calibration, his horn delivered warm treacle into Woman-Woman’s oyster, even though she hadn’t ’spressly ordered it and nobody really has treacle with oysters.

No, I wrote it. But we can pretend, can't we?

And if you are a member of Ruthie's Club—or become one—you can read my entire X-rated Just So story that just isn't so, "How the Crab Got Its Knees." The tale is accompanied by an evocative illustration, as was the case with the ones Kipling did author.

I don't know how happy Rudyard would be about this; but I'm pleased as a Parallel Scrubsquirrel. Thanks, Ruthie!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Cup of tease

Unless they're just teasing, Xcite Books is releasing Tease Me today! This titillating tome includes my story "Bathing Minerva." (Believe it or not, that's not a watersports story.)
If I'm not mistaken, the smut-tastic Sommer Marsden is also in this book!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Strawberry feels forever

I'm experiencing a wave of strawberry-scented nostalgia today, with a vintage-2006 piece of mine appearing at Good Vibrations Magazine. This is the first appearance of "Eight Strawberry Slices" at a free-access venue. And judging from the fun illustration that GV has supplied, I'd say those '06 berries are still looking fresh. So come on over and get fresh with me!


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Eros of the month club

The April issue of free webzine Eros Monthly has made a timely appearance today, and the site now features two more of my "classic" stories! "Vacation Plans" is a little house-sitting adventure, while "The Secret to Perfect Fondue" provides instruction in the delicate art of flame management. (This is the latter story's first online appearance.) So if you're hot for fondue or horny for a little R & R, head on over!

Thank you, Eros Monthly!