Squeeze the tofu at Donna's!

Today, master eroticist and paradigm-challenging intellectual Donna George Storey is providing a vegetarian Japanese feast of food, sake, music, erotic prints, and "mixed sex bathing." And as we soak our senses in subtle sensations of all sorts, the salon subject is sex manuals!

It's all part of the blogland progressive dinner!

Kirsten lights up the desert!

Strong, fast, indefatigable, ingenious Kirsten Monroe is near Ojai today with a wild, sensual, sensational feast that only she can describe! I swear, the woman must be bionic. See you in the Mojave!!!


To keep up with the progressive blogland dinner—which continues through next Wednesday!—click here.

Note: I really wanted to show Jaime in her tracksuit, but the not-especially-bionic image above was the best I could find.

Swordfish!

Today, thanks to the magical Neve Black and her personal astrologer, the blogland progressive dinner takes us to Ipanema!

Voluptuous Velouté

Welcome, one and orgies, to the soup course in the blogland progressive dinner!

We're doing this course TV-style, with a pair of hosts in color-coordinated outfits, who play off one another and have a hot backstage relationship. Joining me is my partner in sexual chemistry (and biology), the wonderful Helia Brookes. For those who haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting Helia (aka "Mrs. Jeremy," though really she's a Ms.) ... Helia, people you haven't met; people you haven't met, Helia. Now let's party!

Precisely where, you may ask, are we? Well, for this very special occasion, we've set up a very special terrace. It's a terrace with two views, views that are not, under normal circumstances, compatible. Helia, what will our guests see if they sit next to you (aside from your cleavage, I mean)?

Helia: From my side of the table, we're looking across a plunging valley

Jeremy: No, I said aside from ...

Helia: ... to a hillside opposite.

Jeremy: Ah! Sorry.

Helia: Where we sit, we can't see the bottom of the valley, just the green fields and deep woods across from us—far enough away to have a slight shimmer, yet still visible in every detail.

Jeremy: Meanwhile, if you sit next to me, you'll get an ocean view! An abbreviated bikini of white sand gives it up for a turquoise tablecloth that stretches to the horizon (and, presumably, beyond—unless it's just chicken wire).

If you want to have it all, feel free to switch seats at any time. Just climb right across our laps. Back and forth, as often as you like. Ooh, yes, right there.

Helia: Speaking of tablecloths ... there's a thick damask cloth on the table.

Jeremy: And halfway through the evening, we'll remove damask. [He punctuates this remark with "Groucho" business.] And look! There's just room enough on the terrace for Stereolab (plus string quartet)!



Jeremy: I'll pour out some luscious and spicy Fishnet Creek (!) Old Vine Zinfandel—into glasses, if I'm lucky—while Helia explains about the spicy mushroom soup we've concocted just for this occasion.

Helia [in staccato-but-sexy, rattling-off-list-of-ingredients voice]:

1/4 cup butter

medium onion. sliced very fine

1/4 all-purpose flour

Jeremy: Can anyone name all the purposes?

Helia [continuing]:

2-3 tbsp dried mushrooms

8-10oz fresh brown, crimini, or other non-white mushrooms

2 large cloves garlic

2 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp balsamic vinegar

salt and black pepper

2 tsp Dijon mustard or to taste

Jeremy, on behalf of the Department of Condimentary Precision:

That's country Dijon—the hearty, grainy kind (as opposed to the more homogeneous yellow version). Incidentally, we almost cut the mustard entirely and curried favor by using curry powder instead ... but, in the final analysis, mustard mustered up more enthusiasm in our kitchen.

Helia [cutting in, lest the soup get cold]:

1/4 tsp cayenne powder

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp dried thyme

[Lowering her voice one sultry notch, she segues smoothly into the narrative portion of the recipe.]

Crumble and soak the dried mushrooms in 4-6 cups of boiling water. Let sit for at least 10 minutes.

Saute onion in butter until translucent. Stir in flour. Slowly add the mushroom water in small amounts, stirring constantly. Add spices except mustard and simmer.

Clean the fresh mushrooms and cut off the end of the stems. Slice 1/8 thick. Saute with the minced garlic in olive oil. When the mushrooms have released their liquid, add the balsamic vinegar and salt/pepper to taste. Cook for about 5 more minutes, then add to the soup.

Simmer the soup another 10 minutes or so. Add the Dijon mustard [J: country Dijon mustard!], taste, and adjust seasonings.

Serve with garlic croutons. [Whispers mini-recipe for croutons.] Cube several slices good bread (can be stale) and saute in olive oil with minced garlic, salt and pepper, stirring frequently until browned.

The dried mushrooms were actually picked from our land. They are scaber stalks, and some years they grow along our driveway under the aspen trees. (See obligatory note!) I slice them thinly and dry them on cookie sheets, then store in baggies. Very similar to porcini.

Obl. note: Be extremely careful about mushrooms and stick only to the very safest and easiest species—don't eat ANY wild mushroom based on anything I say! Be absolutely POSITIVE you know what it is before eating—which can require spore prints etc. "When in doubt, throw it out."

Jeremy: Soup's on, folks! Now then, what shall we talk about over this course?

Helia [reacting in a flash of spontaneous inspiration, as specified in her prepared notes]: Like many avid readers, a lot of my early exposure to sex came through fiction. I remember being turned on by a scene in The Sword in the Stone by T. H. White, which wasn't supposed to be sexual at all—nor did I recognize at the time that the tingling I felt between my legs was sexual either. Then the good old Decameron by Boccaccio—I must have heard something about it to make me pull it out from many other thick, dusty, grown-up, uninviting-looking volumes on my parent's shelves. I skimmed for the juicy bits—how did I recognize what they were?—especially "Masetto da Lamporecchio feigns to be dumb, and obtains a gardener's place at a convent of women, who with one accord make haste to lie with him" and "Alibech turns hermit, and is taught by Rustico, a monk, how the Devil is put in hell." At my grandmother's I came across the TV movie tie-in edition of A Girl Named Sooner. The adults have sex after the husband drinks directly from the milk carton—ooh, transgression! Later (adolescence, but before any personal experience) there were stories in the National Lampoon, which wasn't very funny then but was very explicit, Sophie's Choice (protagonist is groped on the subway) and a novel serialized in the New Music Express—the only thing I remember about it is a protagonist's clit being described as a pearl in oil or something like that.

Do you remember moments of puzzlement, growing understanding, or arousal from reading? Did you ask an adult or a friend about it, or keep it as your secret? Did you have favorite passages you revisited for the pleasure they brought?

Jeremy: Wow, I'll have to think about that ... it's been, um, a long time since those formative years. Maybe other people's reminiscences will spark some memories. (I was once, in adult life, paid to read the Decameron into a tape recorder for a private client ... but that's another story. Or another ten stories, actually.)

Don't forget, tomorrow's course is frisky fish, at Neve Black's place!

"The tuning fork fell to the floor ..."

Thus begins—or rather continues—one of the many riveting sexual upheavals in Nikki Magennis’s eroto-rockin’ masterpiece, The New Rakes, which is now available on both sides of the pond!

I like to think of Nikki’s special brand of literary magic as the left brain and the right brain locking together in an orgasmic embrace. Her style and her imagery show an extraordinary blend of precision and sensuality—everything is crisp and heady at the same time, fluid yet grounded.

In The New Rakes, Nikki has crafted a gripping, richly emotional tale that overflows with heartfelt sexuality of the most intense kind, while also offering a seriously meaty, psychologically complex, and literarily nuanced narrative. And it fuckin’ rocks, dudes.

Through the miracle of premeditated, cooperative, intensely planned and heavily publicized blogging, I just happen to have Nikki here with me today. She’s promised to reveal the juicy details of her passionate relationship with rock ‘n’ roll—and, if we’re good, she’ll show us a movie, too!

Take it, Nikki: onetwothreeFOURRRRRRRRRR!

Sheena is a Punk Rocker
(but Nikki is only pretending)
by Nikki Magennis

Okay, I have a confession to make. I wrote a book about music, but I do not get music. Nick Cave makes me weak at the knees. Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy makes me stupid with lust. But I don’t understand what a key is or why we need one to make a song.

Of course I love most what I can’t have.

Music draws out the tangles. It distils vague, sticky feelings into something wondrous and amazing. It’s a peculiar kind of alchemy, without which I’d be lost.

That is why I’m in awe of musicians. And why I crush on those who can actually make music. Naturally, I ended up writing a novel full of rock stars having intensely hot, dirty sex.

Mike, the cool as Cristal pianist, Tam the rough guitarist – Kara the sweet-and-dark singer. I can hear all their songs in my head still. The music was a huge part of the writing process, and while most of it was imaginary, I did try to method-write a little.

The next song was the one she loved the best, the one she needed to really feel in her bones before she could sing it.

With a talented muso friend, I wrote a song. Snatches of it can be found in the book, but the whole thing is actually arranged and ready to record.

It turns out trying to organise musicians is like trying to herd cats. I found a singer, drummer, guitarist and bass player, but never in the same room. In the end, I made a band out of paper dolls and a soundtrack from Garageband loops.

Buried deep in my hard drive are unaccompanied, howling-godawful versions of songs from the book that will never, ever see the light of day. I sung them when no-one else was in the house, secret songs just between me and the characters.

I like to think of them as grace notes in the book’s melody – unseen parts of the story that make it a richer experience.

I learned a lot from writing this novel but the deeper mysteries about music and wanting, and why certain songs turn me on so much remain unanswered. I suppose they’ll always be just out of reach – endlessly fascinating, thrilling with promise, and tantalising enough to keep me reaching for the high notes.

Kara stood, half naked and abandoned, lost, while Mike bent over the keyboard. Had he forgotten her? Was he having second thoughts? Her skin tightened at the thought. She considered picking up her skirt and leaving. As she started to bend down, though, Mike’s voice stopped her.

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’

He didn’t stop playing, not for a moment. The notes still tumbled from the piano, deep and light at the same time. Kara watched his hands, the tendons long and taut as he stroked the keys. She searched his face. Expression had marked him; laughter lines curved deep at either side of his mouth and his forehead was scored with a slight frown. His face was scarred with stories, but to Kara his expression was unknowable.

At last, the piano fell silent. An echo vibrated in the air between them.

‘Touch yourself,’ he said, barely whispering.

***

Thank you, Nikki, Kara, & co.! And now, readers, it's your turn to sit in with the New Rakes: Nikki has a copy of the book to give away to one lucky commenter!

On the stove for tomorrow: Soup. [Adv.]

Go fig-ure!

Today's course in the blogland progressive dinner is being handled by the dextrous, sensitive, naked digits of Shanna Germain. I understand she has plenty of oil on hand, and she'll be doing some figgy figure finger painting. Meet you at Shanna's!

Tomorrow (Tuesday): While Wednesday's soup course simmers (no, it's not soup yet), Nikki Magennis's New Rakes will be rockin' the house right here!

Wednesday: Soup's on! (Also right here, with Yours Truly and Yours Truly's Partner in Passion serving it up.)

Party at Craig's place!

Yes, the blogland progressive dinner begins today, and you don't even have to wait until dinnertime to show up and partake! Things are already underway at Craig J. Sorensen's place, where mouths—and more—are guaranteed to be amused (and more)! I'll be heading over there myself in a little while, as soon as I get some less amusing things out of the way. See you there!

Here's a recap of the whole schedule for this itinerant party:

Sunday January 25—Amuse-bouche
Host: Craig Sorensen

Monday January 26—Appetizer
Host: Shanna Germain

Wednesday January 28—Soup
Hosts: Helia Brookes and Jeremy Edwards

Thursday January 29—Fish
Host: Neve Black

Friday January 30—Meat Entrée
Host: Kirsten Monroe

Saturday, January 31—Vegetarian Entrée
Host: Donna George Storey

Monday, February 2—Salad
Host: Emerald

Tuesday, February 3—Dessert
Host: Sommer Marsden

Wednesday, February 4—Petit Fours and Truffles
Host: Nikki Magennis

Fun to Come!

Of course it is. But what I actually meant, in this case, was "Read on for a description of some events of a highly enjoyable nature, scheduled for the near future."

To wit: Tomorrow, Sunday, January 26, begins the much-talked-about blogland progressive dinner, as previously described here! The festivities kick off (isn't it funny how festivities, evidently, have feet?) in the capable hands (isn't it funny how arms, anatomically, have hands?) of "Just Craig" Sorensen, whose talents as a mouth-amuser are already legendary. Our sprawling blog bacchanalia will extend through Wednesday, February 4, with a different course of food, entertainment, and discussion, hosted at a different author's blog, almost every day.

In the midst of all this extended revelry—on Tuesday, January 27, while we cleanse our collective palates and reapply our collective makeup between courses—my blog will play host to Nikki Magennis and her mind-blowing, eroto-rockin' new novel, The New Rakes! Nikki will be telling us about her passionate relationship with rock 'n' roll and indulging us with exquisite excerpts ... and it's rumored there will even be an X-rated paper-doll floor show!

Born under the sign of Neve

My friend Neve Black is in the ascendant today, because her novel Sex through the Zodiac has just been released!

Neve's protagonist, an astrology buff named Roxanne, has come up with an astrology-aware (and, we can assume, buffness-aware) way of filling her sexual calendar for the coming (you heard me) year. Click here to read a free excerpt from this e-rotic, e-clectic, e-cliptic e-book!

Con-grat-stellations, Neve!

Invitation!

Taken together (now there's a thought!), the delectably delicious Donna George Storey and the mouthwateringly molten Monroe, Kirsten constitute what I would call a "sex + food supergroup." And just look what they've cooked up! It's a virtual progressive dinner, which will spread out across the blogosphere tablecloth starting this Sunday, January 25, with sauces and sensations spilling over from one venue to another through Wednesday, February 4. Your appetite(s) are guaranteed to be satisfied!

Here's Donna's official invitation (I wish Blogger had an "engraving" feature), with all the details and the schedule:

Join Us for a Sensual and Provocative Progressive Dinner ala Blog

Come join us for a sensual feast to celebrate the new year of hope, promise, and delicious pleasures of every flavor. Each day a new erotica-writing blogger will be your host for one sumptuous course, providing recipes, entertainment and scintillating discussion topics. Best of all, dinners ala blog are known to expand your mind, but not your waistline. The festivities begin on Sunday, January 25. Come to one, come to all—you deserve a little indulgence!

Sunday January 25—Amuse-bouche
Host: Craig Sorensen

Monday January 26—Appetizer
Host: Shanna Germain

Wednesday January 28—Soup
Hosts: Helia Brookes and Jeremy Edwards

Thursday January 29—Fish
Host: Neve Black

Friday January 30—Meat Entrée
Host: Kirsten Monroe

Saturday, January 31—Vegetarian Entrée
Host: Donna George Storey

Monday, February 2—Salad
Host: Emerald

Tuesday, February 3—Dessert
Host: Sommer Marsden

Wednesday, February 4—Petit Fours and Truffles
Host: Nikki Magennis

I'm really looking forward to this 10-day stretch of sensuous socializing, and I hope you'll all be part of the parties!

And, yes, for those who haven't heard the nom de plume "Ms. Helia Brookes" before ... this is the wonderful individual you may know under the comical sobriquet "Mrs. Jeremy," now dipping her own beautiful toes into the art of erotic writing!

Equality, freedom, dignity ... and a little erotica

I'm so proud to have a story in Alessia Brio's Coming Together: At Last, a two-volume anthology of erotica that celebrates sexual relationships between people of different races.

This latest collection of altruistic erotica benefits human-rights group Amnesty International, an organization that I think is of immeasurably great importance. The release of CTAL today is timed to coincide with the Martin Luther King, Jr., Day holiday in the U.S. It also coincides very nicely, as you will probably have noticed, with the week the first African American assumes the highest elected office here. : )


Each volume of CTAL is available in both print and e-book forms. My contribution, "Francine's Kid," is in volume 1, and it explores what fun a summer job in a department store can be:

Each time her face shifted in my direction, I’d quickly turn my head, as if reading the menu on the wall. I must have read the menu fifteen times that day. I noticed there was some kind of special hamburger listed, called a “patty melt.” Personally, I didn’t eat meat; but the words gave me food for thought, and I spent much of that lunch break thinking of ways to make Patty melt.

Between the two volumes, CTAL includes work by Andrea Dale, Jolie du Pre, Sacchi Green, Lisabet Sarai , Saskia Walker, Allison Wonderland, and many others!

a, a, a-a-a-a, a, a, a-a-a-a-aaaaaaaaaaa ... Afternoon Delight!

Pardon my arpeggiation. But that's the way the song, um, climaxes, right?

Anyway, though it's still only morning here, I'm absolutely and afternoonishly delighted to be in this collection, edited by the phenomenal a, a, a-a-a-a, a, a, a-a-a-a-aaaaaaaaaaa ... Alison Tyler! And I believe I'll be in the company of Rachel Kramer Bussel, Nikki Magennis, Sommer Marsden, Teresa Noelle Roberts, Craig J. Sorensen, and Kristina Wright!

Afternoon Delight is available now wherever afternoons are sold.

Book (and Periodical) Report

Hey hey, happy 2009 to everyone! Hmm ... I think I'm overdue for an update as to what's happening in Jeremyland. (I'll check with my librarian.)

Books available very soon will be available very soon! That's The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 8 (edited by Maxim Jakubowski and containing my story "Slightly Ajar"), and Coming Together: At Last (edited by Alessia Brio and containing my story "Francine's Kid"). Also on deck is my story "Vi's Velvet Vibes," in the Sex & Music e-anthology edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. (That one will be available for text and audio download through Ravenous Romance, where I also recently appeared in the Sex & Shoes e-antho.)

Meanwhile, I'm making merry with the mags in the UK: You'll find my story "And/Or" in the issue of Forum that's currently furnished by your neighbourhood newsagent; and in about six weeks the March issue of Scarlet will hit the high street, including my story "Behind the Scenes."

Watch this space for more news soon to come, including imminent interviews, spillover special events, and more!