Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Semenym Contest Climaxes

Okay, metaphor lovers ... let's take a look at the correct answers for the sperm-term quiz, courtesy of Cecil Goran's semen-sational Dictionary of Semenyms! (To read the original post from last week, go here.)
choir of angels - luminous, pearly white, and heavenly.
“Bells of rosy fire ringing in the sky while you squirt a choir of angels.”
—William S. Burroughs, Cities of the Red Night

craziness - stuff from a sex maniac.
“Men are crazy ... then they put their craziness into me.”
—David Lynch, Blue Velvet

divine pleasure - a heavenly sensation; used to describe semen and the sensations of orgasm as God’s creations.
“Having succeeded in warming him by means of these caresses, he procures him the divine pleasure at the same moment he is overwhelmed himself: both discharge in harmony.”
—Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom

jamjam - used to associate semen with thick, sweet jelly.
“Flood of warm jamjam lickitup.”
—James Joyce, Ulysses

life essence
“Women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.”
—Stanley Kubrick, Dr. Strangelove

love - used to describe semen as the essence of erotic union.
“She begs for that little package of love which only he knows how to deliver.”
—Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer

man-dew - exuded drops of masculine essence; used to describe the delicate nature of semen.
“She wanted man-dew only.” —D. H. Lawrence, Sun

pecker tracks - a trail of slime left by a penis.
“Get up, stupid. I hope you didn’t leave any pecker tracks on my gown.”
—John Waters, Trash Trio

salty smear - a generally positive description of the flavor of semen, although smear can have a connotation of dirtiness.
“The cockhead slid between his lips and left a salty smear across his mouth. The taste of it, at least, was familiar, just like his own.”
—Pat Califia, Flesh and the Word

sap - a fluid essential to life; used to describe semen as a thick, sticky substance, suggesting the sweet syrup of a maple tree.
“They climbed out of the bath and wiped from the tiles the sap that their blind stems had hurled distantly, madly, towards love.”
—Jean Cocteau, The White Book

swimming fluid - a drenching, splashing, tidal wave of sperm, triggered by a backstroke.
“The cock discharged its hot, swimming fluid inside her.”
—Anne Rice, Beauty’s Punishment

tummy medicine
“I’d like to slosh a bucket of tummy medicine into your beaming faces.”
—Russell Brand,

vitality - the essential life force; a man’s “get-up-and-go.”
“When he was tickling my fundament just behind the balls and I could not hold it any longer, his mouth closed just over the head of my penis and I could feel my young vitality flowing into his old age.”
—Allen Ginsberg, Gay Roots

white ink of life - likens the penis to a calligrapher’s pen.
“Writing with the white ink, the white ink of life.”
—Nick Currie, “LuteScore”
For correctly associating "tummy medicine" with Brand and "salty smear" with Califia, Janine Ashbless and Jean Roberta, respectively, were the scorers in this erotic matchmaking event. Kudos to both of you! As the earlier commenter in this tie-dyed situation, Janine wins the free book (congratulations, JA!)—but everyone can score by using coupon code QYVG2THE, to get 20% off Dictionary of Semenyms via CreateSpace. (In order to take advantage of this offer, be sure to purchase directly through CreateSpace, and enter the code after the "add to cart" step.)


Janine Ashbless said...

Oh wow! I won? I won?! Sploosh! How cool! Thank you Russell Brand - time spent reading "My Booky-Wook" has paid off as I am clearly an expert on his particular writing style.

And thank you Jeremy! I guess you need to know my real name and address now...

kristina lloyd said...

Darn it! I was going to play and forgot. Great to see the answers and congrats winners!

Craig Sorensen said...

Ooh. I too forgot.

Such fun, um... stuff.

Gina Marie said...

Oh wow, I was speechless until my spermtastic spamword popped up...."Torsuctr"