Monday, July 19, 2010

Don't Miss Charlotte's Show!

Helia and I have gone off on vacation, but I told my friend Charlotte "Mighty Viper" Stein that she could use our place while we were away. It is a drag, of course, that we're not there while CMVS is throwing a party and dancing on our coffee table and playing the tuba and knee cymbals like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins... but you, I hope, will drop in and see what she's up to.

Ah, there you are now. Splendid! Just open the door and go on in. And give our regards to the brilliant Charlotte!

As Jeremy was so kind as to let me guest on his blog for the release of my latest novella, I’ve done a poem in his honour. Yeah, you heard that right. A poem. Run away now, if you’re frightened.

Oh, Jeremy is really great
When I think of him
I always think of sexy stories
But weirder than that
I think of hats, and socks, and sweater-vests.
I do not know why Jeremy
Is so associated with items of clothing
In my head
But there it is.
He would look pretty weird wearing
Only a hat and socks and a sweater-vest.
But he’s so cool,
I’m sure he could pull it off.

Genius, no? I’m the next Joyce Carol Oates! Only rubbish and with lots of talk of clothing.

Anyhoo, on to the purpose of this guest post: my story filled with fairy goodness, Tigerlily, is out July 19th from Total-E-Bound. I don’t know when Jeremy is going to post this, so I could be speaking to you from the future, and it’s already out, or from the past, and you’re still anxiously, anxiously waiting for it (I know you’re just so damned anxious for my tiny story).

But here’s an excerpt from it, to tide you over:

“There was a guy, running a blue streak through the trees. Mae Connelly could see him, even amidst the febrile greenery and the lowering light, arms pumping. Legs pumping. Cock swinging in the breeze.

Which was when she decided to stand up, and get a better look.

Purely out of simple curiosity, of course. Nothing unseemly about stepping off your porch to gawk at a man who appeared to be running through the field behind your house, buck ass nekkid.

And it didn’t sadden her—not even a little—when he ploughed into the long grass and everything below the waist got cut off. No—not even a little bit, uh-uh. After all, she was just a concerned citizen.

Concerned about someone who sure looked terrified. He looked more than terrified—she could see him, turning his head every five seconds as though expecting to see hellhounds behind him, chomping at his heels. He kept almost stumbling, like fear wouldn’t let him keep his footing.

And as he veered closer to her house, she could definitely make out red, striping his upper arms. The fact that said upper arms were sinewy with muscle and very nice indeed took a shameful backseat.

She shouted before her brain confirmed that doing so was a good idea.


It was definitely not a good idea. He fell almost immediately, at the sound of her voice. She saw him turn, and then it was all just tits over ass and nothing but the long grass, stirring, to suggest that he had ever been there.

All the possible reasons that someone could be running, naked and terrified, went through her head: escape from a forced nudist colony. Being hunted by a Terminator from the future. Sex game that went horribly, horribly wrong. Or right, depending on your kink.

But none of them seemed either a) plausible or b) sane. As far as she knew, forced nudist colonies didn’t even exist. And likely Terminators and time travel machines didn’t, either. Especially not ones that sent you through time with your ass hanging out.”
And a blurb, in case you’re still not convinced:

Oh what’s a girl to do, when she finds a sexy, naked man in her back garden?

When a naked guy turns up in Mae’s back garden, she can’t decide if he’s crazy or sent from heaven. He can’t remember his name, or where he’s from, but he seems to know one thing for certain- Mae is in need of some hot loving, and fast.

However, the more he persuades her to let go and give in, the more she finds herself believing that she’s met him before. But childhood games with a boy who she’s sure had wings on his back are giving way to her deepest sexual fantasies, and dreams of another world entirely are not far behind…

And a link to where you can eventually buy it/have bought it/will be having to buy it/never want to buy it ever:

Thanks a million, Jezza!

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